Have you ever come to the place in your walk with Jesus and asked the question, “Why am I doing this?” Why am I reading my Bible? Attending church? Praying? Acting this way?
One of the greatest moments of my life came when I asked myself this question: “Why am I doing this?” This question birthed numerous others and took me into a spiritual spiral of whys and what ifs. Why do I pray? What if I am praying the wrong way? Why go to church? What if I attend the wrong church? And so on… This spiritual spiral took hold of me and landed me in a state of spiritual depression.
I didn’t know what was right. I had no logical answers to my faith and worst of all my understanding of what was good was now tainted by my lack of trust and self doubt. All that I thought I knew was lost and my hope to discover something new was gone. I was in the pit of spiritual depression.
How is this one of the greatest moments of my life you may ask? Let me explain.
I was sitting in my spiritual depression when it hit me that my faith was one that had been given to me. It was a faith that was encouraged by preachers, hindered by legalist church services and twisted by numerous Christian points of view. My faith was a melting point of do’s and don’ts. My faith wasn’t a faith at all. It was an obligation.
At the end of Mark 12 we run into a story about Jesus people watching at the temple. It says, “Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts.
But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you that truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out to their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything – all she had to live on.”
Jesus’ wasn’t impressed with the amount of money that people were placing in the treasury or moved by the fact that people were meeting their religious obligations. No, he was taken back by an act of sincerity from someone who wasn’t at the temple for obligation. The widow didn’t give out of obligation but out of willingness. She willingly gave to God all that she had and didn’t hold anything back. By placing her offering in the treasury she was showing God that she was trusting Him and willing to live life His way.
When I discovered this truth I made a decision to live a life centered on this story. I decided that for the rest of my life I am going to give all that I have, all that I do and all that I am to God, and that my faith wouldn’t be a daily or weekly obligation, but a continuous act of sincerity. A faith governed by obligation is a faith that God dismisses, but a faith covered in sincerity is one that God is pleased with.